I love my Job @ Hyderabad

I love my Job @ Hyderabad
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Pyaar Ka Panchanaama

Hi Readers,

"Pyaar ka Panchanama" is a sentence in the Hindi Language, which means Postmortem of Love. As in the process of postmortem, a dead body is investigated for the cause of the death, similarly, the intention of this article therefore, is to capture the causes of the death of Love i.e a horrible ending to a love story.

Also to make this article more specific, let me categorize and then point out the specific branch of Love. There are three broad categories of Love:

1. Love for the Elders:
The best example of this type of Love, is the love for your Parents, Grandparents, Aunties and Uncles. It can also be felt for an elder or a senior citizen. Also, love, respect and dedication towards one's Mentor also comes under this category.

2. Love for the Coeval:
This is love for the persons of nearly the same age, give or take, 5 year elder or younger. This type of love falls into 2 sub-types:
   a. Love for the reason of friendship:
      This can be best portrayed between friends and colleagues you like to work      with.
   b. Love for the reason of companionship:
      This is between two persons who share the intention of sharing their life together.

3. Love for the Younger:
The best example of this type of Love, is the love for your child, your nephew and niece. The same can be felt for the person of an age relatively lesser than yours and who either seek your protection and guidance or look upon yourself as an elder.

Before I begin my elaborations, I would like to mention a few universal laws of Love:

1. Law of Conservation of Love (Applicable to all the categories):
According to this Law, Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. It is present in all the places and at all times. It can only be focused from one person to another.
Usage: This is useful to understand the importance and significance of love in one's life irrespective of the number of people involved.

2. Law of Love singularity (applicable to only 2.b category):
At a given moment of time, a person can focus the majority of the Love only for one single other person. There may be incidence of multiple focus points but one can only focus the Love to a single other person whose intensity will be greater than all the others. In this situation, the person can be said to be in Love with that other person ONLY.
Usage: This law is used to resolve the issues of multiple love interests in one's life leading to chaos and conflicts and decision making.

3. Law of Love Quantum (Applicable to all the categories):
The quantity of Love and the ability of Loving others by oneself is directly proportionate to the amount of Love desired by one, in addition to the the amount of Love ever focused on the same person by others and was received consciously by the same.
Usage: This law is used to judge the behaviour of a person with regards to the person's compassion levels and needs of the person.


Main Article:

Please note that this article is on the Love of the type 2.b. I would like to begin with the quote:

"Maybe … giving someone all your love 
is never an assurance that they will
love you back. Don't expect love in
return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but, if it doesn't, be
content that it grew in yours."

This quote brings the most soothing of feelings for those, who faced many a situations where either they could not convey their love to the other person or the persons involved were not in congruence for the continuance of the relationship, the reason for which can be infinite. We are not going to focus on the reasons not for the continuance of the love!

I hope you have gone through the laws mentioned above.

When we are in love with a person, that moment we are focusing the majority of the love energy upon him/her (Law I). We invest time, attention, devotion, care and money for the same person in the same proportion. We try our best to improve, innovate and project the best of ourselves in the process. We change tracks as well as tune our day to day life to accommodate more time with the loved one.

Alas, many a times the relationship breaks, shatters or diffuses. The reason can be infinite and scale from insignificant incompatibility traits to significant factors which could have caused huge problems in the future for the parties involved. The persons involved develop sadness and gloom. They wail and scream. They are shocked at this abrupt shattering of the dreams and the future, woven with the threads of companionship with the loved one. They blame the other person and back-talk, try to hurt, whom they loved. Sometimes they resort to the weapon of jealousy and imitation of false pretentious feelings and create discomfort for the other.

Now, if we read the lovely quotation mentioned above, it dissolves and washes away all the stains and blemishes resulted from the breakage of the relationship. During the shock stage of the event, it is natural to be swayed with the erupted emotions. At the same time we shudder in sadness at the loss of the all the investment of time, attention, devotion, care, money and love. But Behold, the Love by its nature is indestructible and imperishable. If you disassociate the Love from the person upon whom earlier it was focused and nurture it in your heart, this Love will enable you to Love another person with better mindset, equipped with more reasoning and stability boosters. Love never dies. We just diminish its effect in our heart and focus on the feelings of anger, betrayal and sadness. If we diminish it to a critical extent, it convolves with suspicion and mistrust in future relations.

The best way out of a broken relationship is a 3 step process:
1. Work towards the disassociation of the Love energy with the person in question. And then focus and distribute the same to other aspects of your day to day life.
2. Conserve the positive and constructive values resulted from the relationship which includes the learning about inner self and your strengths and weaknesses which came to light during the relationship.
3. Just as one, who suffers from stage-fright, gains confidence after speaking in front of a crowd, in the same way this Lovely relationship, though broken now, if handled properly will enable you to establish future relationships with more maturity and confidence.

I wish you all the very best.

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